2012

Now even though I can crank out essays with demonic speed and blur through writings and messages with a force known only to tornados I can’t say I’ve gotten anymore interesting in my writing. Just fast.

So a little slower and with a couple more breaths (and inspired to do so by some of my favorite people) I will reflect on 2011 a little, as best as I can manage, and think of goals for 2012.

2011 was a year that held a lot of surprises and work. To be less vague, I managed to find myself in a relationship. Something I never thought would happen again because, admittedly, I am extremely brash and sort sighted when it comes to my own future. A bit more on that later. For now I can say it was an experience that was mostly pleasant and ended almost neatly at a year. I can’t say I blame the guy; I think deep down neither of us were ever ready for anything beyond a simple bond. Though you learn to process these things with less than stellar experience.

I bring this up first because some of you who read this have an inkling of my past relationships and may have been a little worried. Especially since I put up some pretty strong airs of not caring. Well, that was a lie even to myself. I did and still do care but ultimately I’m fine and happy. It was overall a positive experience and I think I’ll be better prepared for whatever I’ll encounter in the future in my long span of life to come. Because I am really young, aren’t I? (And that’s the matter revisited. It’s becoming easier to realize I have a long time to find happiness with myself, friends, and whatever other categories decide to open up)

Work has been overwhelming most times but I wouldn’t have done anything differently. Even the sort of locally imposed seclusion. I know now, and have known for a bit, that I’ll have opportunities of employment at the ready once I graduate. Thank god. I can’t express how fortunate I feel and how happy I am to see my efforts turn over fruit. It inspires me to try harder and to do better because I have an ocean of improvement I could undertake. And I know it’s only the beginning. There are many paths I can take from here and many means by which I should continue to push and strive. You sleep when you’re dead, and in the meantime there are people to help and that want to learn.

Getting my teaching certificate was exhausting but I’d do it again, and the undertaking of full-time school with part-time work was more energy consuming than I ever realized. That with my volunteer teaching hours too all added up at odd moments during the semester. I’d like to see anyone try to tell me I am not fit to handle stress these days…

I’m eager to start doing it all again in a couple days.

So what are some things I can do differently for 2012? There’s stuff I haven’t covered about 2011 but I feel long-winded already. An actual list may be impractical so let me think of some simple goals and make them more complicated, as I do, once I finish them.

+ Spend more time reading for myself. It’s easy enough to read a couple books a month through my major but I want to read for myself at least a bit. (I’ll become more active in my book club)

+ Spend more time by myself outside of the house. Simple enough to do it here at home but I want to learn how to wander again; I’ve lost some of that over the last year and it’s hard for me to just get lost for a while anymore.

+ Make more friends and less friends at the same time. I want to make more friends but be more cautious about how much I let new people in for both parties’ sakes. You can be warm without sharing life stories and you can make people happy without breaking your back for them.

+ Love more.

+ Watch a couple more movies than I usually do. (This might be good to do as a mix of alone and with friends)

+ Don’t panic about the future.

+ Give more hugs. I give good hugs when I manage to.

+ Eat more fruit. Fruit is delicious and not too expensive, damn it.

 

Good tidings to you and I hope this year is wonderful for you with all my heart. I have missed you and always want to know you’re doing well.

Love,

Loki(Ale) Wanderer