24

Boop boop boop boop…

I’ve done nothing but reflect on the past lately so let me reflect on the future by pulling out a post from 2020 out of the miasmic swirling nothing that is the ticking of time.

—

“How much do I still love the word miasma?

The answer is very. It’s always been very and really this is the only thought keeping me stable before I go out to fight the space orcs again. I still remember how amazing the thought of extra-terrestial life was to me as a girl; it’s hard to know for sure if I would lose all enthusiasm towards the idea if I knew I would lose my left eye during an orc raid in Turkey when I was barely 29. Understandably it seems reasonable to believe I would at least lose most of my excitement by that news. At least I rock this eye patch pretty well.

Yeah, still refusing the implant. I’ve seen too many of the people to get any sort of tech enhanced doodad stuck in them suddenly disappear, oh I’m sorry, go off to extensive rehabilitation to go anywhere near there. Not too many people believe me, but then again not too many people are all that willing to just buy the procedure for me either. Maybe my friends think I’m rocking the eyepatch pretty nicely too.

Trying to revise as I go, and I don’t want to change the first sentence. Even though it’s hard to call what I’m going to be doing fighting as much as it is going to beat up a couple lander  ships during peace talks. They already know, I’m not telling the internet anything new and we all know that the reps at the talk are just clones. We’re taking bets as to which clone gets disintegrated first. My ticket in the pool is a secret that mustn’t be shared because I need the extra cash to get some good drink. Damn, orcs.

These sabotage treks have been getting more dangerous. So I just wanted to thank all of you for reading for all these years. Also I wanted to leave you with one last thought, if this is the last one:

Why on Earth do we call them space orcs? They look more like bipedal anteaters and using “space” in the name for anything is a terrible idea.”

—

Huh. Let me see if I can dig something out a little further ahead. Ah! This one is marked 2030.

—

“Thank you for reading

We all know that it was disappointing to lose the presidential race in Eastern America two years ago but I believe we can all agree that it led to one of the best years this world has ever seen. We completely dominated the Martian colonies and managed to build what is looking to be the most prosperous hub of interstellar trading this side of the Little Ghost Galaxy. (Eat your heart out, Kepler-22b.) Immigration and job growth are at all time highs and I say we continue to bring everyone into what is quickly becoming the most enterprising non-Terra economy in the sector. Soon we will be able to transport the last of the great worms to the polar sanctuary so that we can finish afforestation in peace without damaging the ecosystem here.

Many of my critics deem it foolish and a waste of resources to take care of the Martian ecosystem as it is a direct and relatively recent consequence of the Eater invasions that, I ask you to keep in mind, first opened up Mars to us as a viable territory. However I believe it is not only in the United Colonies of Mars’ greatest interests to foster all recent changes to the planet but the main spirit of why we’re even here in the first place.

To be free and to be strong. If not the strongest.

We must all see that there are still crucial steps to take in our path of ambition and we must not be blinded by the circumstances that have brought us all here. We must use everything we have to make ourselves even stronger as we continue to foster contracts with Terra and its satellite colonies.

As such I am afraid that I will have no time to update this blog anymore. I’m sure the year without updates gave you some clue to that and I apologize for all the campaign spam. However I have come up with a solution that will keep all of you active insiders without me having to be distracted from our orbital shield proposals. One of our new media interns will be taking over and publishing information as best she can. She is a recent graduate of the Terran university of Stanford but we should not judge her for her recent ties to, and I know this will upset some of you, Earth. Don’t forget where we all came from not all that long ago. We all lost so much to the Eaters, we can’t lose our histories.

Thank you for reading. Kelly Garros will provide fascinating content for you to explore as we continue to grow at break neck speed.

On red dust of strife and trial, we found our courage that led us to the stars. Let the universe never forget us on Mars.“

—

There was one right next to that one but I think this comes from Kelly Garros. It’s a few years after that last one.

—

“Terra in a Winter Wonderland!

lol

In other news, Martian exports are up 12.3% from last year.

On red dust of strife and trial, we found our Madame that led us to the stars. Let the universe never forget us on Mars.

“

—

Maybe I should try to dig into a much closer future. Here’s something from 2014, that seems safe enough away from the orcs.

—

“Ddokbokki is the world’s most delicious food.

It’s true. Y’all should eat some with me some time from one the street stands. I don’t have much to say right now but figured I should check in and let y’all know that I’m happy. Oh! And I learned a new dance move. It’s a little hard to put into words but it’s really fun as long as you don’t accidentally hip check someone on your finishing twirl and dip/thrust/thing. I highly recommend it and I’ll post up a video of how to do it tomorrow when it’s not so late. Sayonara, adios.

-Loki-”

A Dumb Meditation

“Good is Dumb” is a trope that refers to a common thread in a lot of stories (typically fictional stories) where you have a protagonist that has to do some sort of heroic feat. It’s very common for stories to resort to having said feat be an incredible and risky venture that would normally fail or outright kill the protagonist. Something that you can see usually powered by such things as the powers of love, friendship, brotherhood, or the like.

Protagonist A needs to help out Protagonist B and either: makes a risky rescue attempt that involves falling at least once from a great height (assisted falls: via zip lines, parachute, etc still count), defies some powerful Antagonist A or Head Antagonist and manages to be the only one not killed for their defiance, cries magic tears (let’s lump suddenly magic phrases or songs in with this one), sacrifices themselves, or some combination of the above.

In other words, for many characters, it takes an act that would normally be considered stupid given the circumstances of the current situation somehow succeeding (or necessary failure) anyways. In order to be good you’re going to eventually have to do something stupid in the name of good.

I’ve been rewatching a couple of my favorite movies lately along with some new ones and I keep bumping into this inevitable wall of good having to take a stupid action. Being reasonable makes a character uselessly passive by the climax of most stories; making them easy to then discard or have them become an unintentional antagonist with tacked on social commentary about the sin of inaction.

Though to be completely fair the stupid actions are inherently much more entertaining than the reasonable ones. They give climax and drama. And the point of this meditation is not to decry the whole practice as foul. I like big stupid actions having incredible pay offs in the name of love, or something else that’s shiny like that.

The only problem comes from trying to think of how exactly that applies to real life. Where does someone draw the line in how far they’ll go before they’re considered heartless or useless? What makes an action not dumb anymore? Is that only a label that gets stripped off if the venture is successful or at least a level of tragic that can appease a critical eye?

More than anything I wonder sometimes how it works out in a much simpler and smaller scale. Every day opportunities that are missed or seized to help out others.

Like ripping a dress in a thorn bush to save a starving kitten, there was a dumb thing (said thorn bush was in a parking lot at some time after midnight) that could be considered a good thing. Especially since the kitten was chipped and able to finally get back home after a long stint of wandering. But if that didn’t work out that way and something happened (like getting mugged or falling into the bush and getting injured without anyone nearby to help) would anyone still call the attempt good? Or would it just be foolish then and nothing else? (“it was probably feral and could survive on its own” “the cat probably had a way out and you should have left it alone”)

Likewise there are missed opportunities to help because of the fear of doing something too dumb to recover from. Like helping up a stranger on the street when no one else is around. Or letting a stranger borrow your phone. Or even something like helping out someone in need who actually has hurt you before.

I have experiences of doing the active and inactive in those situations and others and I have noticed that their success tends to color whether I think of the action as good or dumb. The problem is that I’m starting to think that that’s not a suitable enough way to define those events.

Can you still be good when you help only sometimes? And do good actions become tainted or misaligned when that dumb factor starts to chime in?

Unlike movies or books there’s not a gigantic pay off for my actions. I haven’t saved lives, I could never help the ones I thought I loved that much, and there’s no reward of the ideal realization of something shiny being within me the whole time. I have helped some for a small moment, at most. I have also accidentally risked my life on several occasions and still vividly remember the moments of almost losing it in various efforts to be good that ended up producing nothing. No good, and most times just more bad.

I want to be a good person and help lots of people. It’s just still hard for me to discern between which dumb ideas will take me towards that wanting to be good (regardless of success) and which dumb ideas are just, well, dumb.

-Loki-

 

2012

Now even though I can crank out essays with demonic speed and blur through writings and messages with a force known only to tornados I can’t say I’ve gotten anymore interesting in my writing. Just fast.

So a little slower and with a couple more breaths (and inspired to do so by some of my favorite people) I will reflect on 2011 a little, as best as I can manage, and think of goals for 2012.

2011 was a year that held a lot of surprises and work. To be less vague, I managed to find myself in a relationship. Something I never thought would happen again because, admittedly, I am extremely brash and sort sighted when it comes to my own future. A bit more on that later. For now I can say it was an experience that was mostly pleasant and ended almost neatly at a year. I can’t say I blame the guy; I think deep down neither of us were ever ready for anything beyond a simple bond. Though you learn to process these things with less than stellar experience.

I bring this up first because some of you who read this have an inkling of my past relationships and may have been a little worried. Especially since I put up some pretty strong airs of not caring. Well, that was a lie even to myself. I did and still do care but ultimately I’m fine and happy. It was overall a positive experience and I think I’ll be better prepared for whatever I’ll encounter in the future in my long span of life to come. Because I am really young, aren’t I? (And that’s the matter revisited. It’s becoming easier to realize I have a long time to find happiness with myself, friends, and whatever other categories decide to open up)

Work has been overwhelming most times but I wouldn’t have done anything differently. Even the sort of locally imposed seclusion. I know now, and have known for a bit, that I’ll have opportunities of employment at the ready once I graduate. Thank god. I can’t express how fortunate I feel and how happy I am to see my efforts turn over fruit. It inspires me to try harder and to do better because I have an ocean of improvement I could undertake. And I know it’s only the beginning. There are many paths I can take from here and many means by which I should continue to push and strive. You sleep when you’re dead, and in the meantime there are people to help and that want to learn.

Getting my teaching certificate was exhausting but I’d do it again, and the undertaking of full-time school with part-time work was more energy consuming than I ever realized. That with my volunteer teaching hours too all added up at odd moments during the semester. I’d like to see anyone try to tell me I am not fit to handle stress these days…

I’m eager to start doing it all again in a couple days.

So what are some things I can do differently for 2012? There’s stuff I haven’t covered about 2011 but I feel long-winded already. An actual list may be impractical so let me think of some simple goals and make them more complicated, as I do, once I finish them.

+ Spend more time reading for myself. It’s easy enough to read a couple books a month through my major but I want to read for myself at least a bit. (I’ll become more active in my book club)

+ Spend more time by myself outside of the house. Simple enough to do it here at home but I want to learn how to wander again; I’ve lost some of that over the last year and it’s hard for me to just get lost for a while anymore.

+ Make more friends and less friends at the same time. I want to make more friends but be more cautious about how much I let new people in for both parties’ sakes. You can be warm without sharing life stories and you can make people happy without breaking your back for them.

+ Love more.

+ Watch a couple more movies than I usually do. (This might be good to do as a mix of alone and with friends)

+ Don’t panic about the future.

+ Give more hugs. I give good hugs when I manage to.

+ Eat more fruit. Fruit is delicious and not too expensive, damn it.

 

Good tidings to you and I hope this year is wonderful for you with all my heart. I have missed you and always want to know you’re doing well.

Love,

Loki(Ale) Wanderer